Cacophony
by DewdropLotus
Summary: With awakening of the 14th, Allen and Kanda are tossed into an interweaving nightmare trip to a past neither couldn't have even fathomed. Uncovering the truth, they must both face a future that could break everything they know. AllenKanda
1. Prologue

**Cacophony**_  
>Prologue<em>

_Kanda…_

_Kanda…_

"Walker…"

Silver eyes glinted in the dark holding cell, the occasional tear spilling down his flushed cheeks. He didn't even notice the physical pain anymore. All he could focus on was the giant hole in his heart. Without wanting to, he'd begun to despise so much. He despised the Order that caused Kanda's downfall. He despised the Order that had been the reason why Kanda's previous life's lover was turned into an Akuma. He despised the Noah that forced all those memories to resurface and turn Kanda and Alma on each other.

Those two had been reborn together. They had been each other's only friends. And they…they were manipulated and forced to nearly fight to the death, when all they wanted…

All they wanted was to be free from the Black Order.

It gave him a horrible taste in his mouth. It was the real reason why he wouldn't eat anything; because he knew he'd never keep it down as long as he could remember the deep, lost, rage filled eyes that stared him down. All he wanted to do was cleanse Kanda of those eyes forever. Seeing him so out of control that he couldn't even think made Allen's heart tighten until he thought he couldn't breathe again.

Those eyes held the strongest undertone of death that he'd ever seen.

Kanda wanted to stop thinking.

He wanted to stop existing in the reality given to him by the corrupted Black Order. He turned his blade on Allen, despite the resonating feelings that were pouring off him. Allen knew that he held those feelings in him for Allen, but he was just too far gone to recognize it for what it was. It took the sharp end of Mugen piercing into his body for Kanda to come back to him.

And he was okay with that, if that was what it took to get those empty eyes to go away and give him back the clear, cognizant ones he loved so much. He didn't care that he had committed treason to send Kanda and the remaining bit of Alma back to the location of their very first mission together. Kanda was worth all the treason in the world. If sending them off was the way to bring closure to the one person he loved more than anything, then he was more than happy to do so.

But still, he felt his heart tearing down until numbness spread over him. Kanda had become his hope. Even if that man was a giant bitch most of the time and hard to work with…he was his lighthouse. He could trust his life in that man's hands. Even when he was facing off with him, nearly fighting a death match with him; he knew that Kanda would never willingly harm him.

Blinking slowly, he set his brain to recall every detail he could: Kanda's smug grin, flashing teeth; the way his eyes narrowed when he was annoyed; the way he tapped his finger against his arm when he was thinking….the way he only had a certain look for Allen.

Allen really was trying very hard not to break.

But it was becoming harder and harder.

Kanda blamed the Noah inside him when they fought and Allen was beginning to as well. He hated the 14th. He hated him with every bit of his heart, because without the 14th…they would never have targeted Kanda. They knew…the Noah knew that Kanda was the only one with the power to put Allen in that position. Allen and Kanda were the two most dangerous beings within the order. It only made sense for them to be pitted against each other…

"Walker…"

"You knew, didn't you?" He finally acknowledged Howard Link again. If he had to guess the expression, he would assume Link was surprised by the forwardness of the question, but there was no way he didn't know exactly what he was referring to. "You had to know."

"You two fought like cats and dogs, over everything."

"That doesn't really say much."

"It was enough to make inferences. Especially from two people normally not like that," Link let out a breath and sat next to Allen. He wasn't capable of comforting the boy, but he could attempt to talk it out with him.

"You said nothing, why?"

"Because it wasn't my place. When I saw people I cared about used as experiments for the gain of the Order, I realized they don't care about you kids for anything more than weapons. If that was what you had keeping you going, I could turn a blind eye."

A moment of silence passed before Allen could bring himself to whisper, "thank you."

"There's a possibility that he's not dead."

"…But for how long…Like this…I'll never make it to Mater in time to find out. If only I could find a way out…" The pain in his chest welled up again, "I don't know…If I could even…bring myself to see him…dead… I wish none of this happened."

"I know…"

_It feels like all of me is crying. Even… _him.

_Damn it…_

_Kanda…_

_If you're dead, I will never forgive you. _

_Please don't…_

_Leave me. _

_I need you more than anything. _

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Welcome to the next stage of "DewDropLotus toys cruelly with your emotions." Take a seat and enjoy. _

_**THIS IS A SEQUEL to Brain Damage. And yes, the rating has changed. It's necessary for the level of violence and borderline Kanda molestation that will probably happen.  
><strong>_

_Now, why didn't I tell you until just now? Because new readers might be thrown off to see it at the beginning and this is ambiguous enough to give them a taste of what Brain Damage had to offer. If you have not read Brain Damage, please do so now, or risk not knowing any of what the fuck is going on. _

_Thank you to everyone following me from Brain Damage, this one will be chalk full of more heart break than you have the heart for, so prepare yourselves. My goal is to see how many minds I can shatter and collect enough tears for my Olympic sized swimming pool.! _

_ALL MY LOVE~!_


	2. Ghost

**Cacophony**_  
>Part One<em>

'_Welcome to the family,' _a soft voice echoed; as if far away. There was depth and somberness to it that seemed unfitting for the voice uttering the words. Behind closed lids, his eyes still couldn't make out the faces surrounding the memory that was replaying like a mirage in his mind. '_He's cute,' _another voice whispered; followed by one more: _'he's a normal human.' _All he was greeted with were the whispers, fading into the darkness that consumed his vision until he opened his eyes.

The fluttering by his face reminded him why the once vivid flashes were now dull, listless sounds floating in the back of his mind. The splash of yellow in his vision reminded him of where he was. Seated in a moderate hotel room with Timcanpy perched on his shoulder and the golem's owner tucked into a bed.

Watching Allen's chest rise and fall with every breath had become his pastime over the last day or so. He had almost lost hope in even finding the damned beansprout. Some part of him couldn't even bear to look at him, but the other parts seemed to do a good job of overcoming that and made him watch over the boy anyway. The discomfort of knowing that it was his fault it had come to this had refused to go away.

Allen had seen the past that haunted Kanda; and for all that was worth, he was somewhat glad. However, he knew how Allen could be. He knew that big heart could only expand and try to cram everything into it. Despite breaking his own heart in the process, Allen had sent them out of the Order's reach.

Even after Kanda had turned on him.

Even after he's stabbed him and awakened the bastard within him.

After everything that had transpired, Allen was nothing but selfless.

Kanda was grateful. There was no doubt about that. The aching mysteries of his past were violently uncovered, but neatly folded and put away to rest forever. His life's mission had been completed…yet, he still felt like there was more. The feeling of needing to finish that task…That feeling didn't vanish when Alma did. The longing he'd felt for _that person_…why did that not go away, if _that person_ was put to rest and all of his questions answered and filed away?

'_You are the heart's accommodator.' _

Yes. There was that. He mulled at the memory of the 14th and his words. But even so, it wasn't a duty he felt he had to accomplish. He didn't care about the Order, the Noah or the Innocence in any manner. Watching over Allen, brought that feeling of longing back to him stronger, but he felt sated every time his fingers danced over the sleeping boy's face. Allen _was_ his reason for living now.

Unfortunately, his reason for living was suffering because of his actions; because he stabbed him with Mugen. It made him sick. It made him hate himself for getting to that point. The one person he could actually trust and he had the nerve to turn on him.

_I am stupid. _

A pinch at his cheek made him jump and growl, eyes glaring over the faceless golden ball that had started to cuddle the spot he bit. Timcanpy just continued to press his body into Kanda's cheek until the man had no choice but to pry the thing from his face and hold it in his fist. "You're trying me, little shit."

"Kanda, I'm going to go pick up a few things for Allen," a voice filtered in and he looked up to see the shorter scientist enter the room. Johnny took his bag and carried the golem he'd brought with him. "Is there anything you'd like me to pick up?"

"Is it a good idea for you to leave alone?" Kanda stared at him, questioning. He wouldn't say he had a deep bond with Johnny; but the man had helped him track down Allen. The little weirdo also managed to get knock-out drunk with him, so he figured there was some kind of 'friendship' there…enough to be concerned for the welfare of his travelling partner; at any rate.

"I'll be fine. I'll take my golem with me and contact you if I need to."

"Don't get yourself in trouble. If you need more money, I have more pendants on my jacket we can pawn."

"I think this should be enough for now, I'll be back!" The bumbling man left with a hope filled smile still plastered to his face. In a way, Kanda was grateful for that. Watching Allen struggle to keep himself together was slowly etching away what hope he himself had. It was _his _fault, after all. His blade had pierced into that body…_his _blade had broken the barrier keeping the Noah from simply taking over him.

He leaned back and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Allen's irregular breathing. It took them months to catch up to him. Months. If they had been quicker; he could have done more than watch him writhing in agony. However, he wasn't going to let himself dwell on this. Allen would be furious if he found him acting in such a way.

_Beansprout…_

Exhaustion was seeping into his body and he knew what from…but he couldn't bring himself to sleep. Since they had dragged Allen's unconscious body back to the hotel room, he hadn't slept a bit. Everyone was after Allen, after all…

The Akuma, the Noah, the Black Order… Howard Link…who was apparently not dead after all. _Figures, fuckin cock blocks never stay dead._

All it would take was a twitch of muscle and he would be armed and ready to kill anything that entered the room without permission. Human or Akuma, he didn't care any more. He'd murder a human for Allen. God help him if he got his hands on the appropriate Black Order bastard…

"_How long have you been following us?" _

"_Long enough." _

"_How are you alive?" _

"_I'm sure _you're_ quite familiar with how it works, Kanda Yuu." _

The conversation continued to play in his head. He wasn't exactly sure if Allen would be happy or upset by the revelation surrounding Howard Link. He was once again out of sight for the moment… The man seemed to have no motive that Kanda needed to be on the immediate defensive for, but that same man shouldn't be alive…and it would be a long battle with immortality before he was freed of it now.

It gave him a sour taste in his mouth. Yet another person fucked over by the Black Order. Yet another person denied the sweet embrace of the death that had been unfairly handed to them in the first place. It would never end.

The squishing pressure on his cheek reminded him that Timcanpy had freed himself and was still there…harassing him as usual. A sigh slipped and he lifted Tim into his hands, looking at the golem. "I really messed up, Timcanpy," he admitted to the silent room and the golem fluttering sadly at his words.

"Well, you certainly did."

With the sharpest impulse his body could muster, Kanda was up and pointing his unsheathed sword at the owner of the words. A grimace slipped across his face and his fingers struggled to maintain the hold on the hilt. It took him a moment to realize his wrist was tightly held in a much larger hand; the pressure building until he felt like his wrist was going to break. "God…damnit…"

"Put the toy down, brat. If I was going to hurt you, I'd have already put you through the wall."

Reluctantly, he released the hold on the sword—grunting at the clank against the table before it hit the wooden floor below them. The flash of red registered in his mind before the voice did and his body filled with a nearly choking irritation. "You could try finding better ways to let me know of your presence, motherfucker."

"Don't blame me for your loss of concentration," the deep, rich voice taunted—laced with heavy smoke.

"Three fucking months and _now_ you show up?"

"I was busy with other things… that you children are too busy fighting each other to take care of," the taller man lowered Kanda's arm and shoved him across the small space—letting the boy drop over in a heap on the small sofa.

"Well, fucking excuse me. We're not all omnipotent like you mother fuckers who have been doing this since the beginning," Kanda grunted, straightening his body to sit, facing the tall fiery haired General.

Taking another heavy drag from his cigarette, the dark clad man stepped fully into the room and slammed the door behind him. "Is that going to be your excuse?"

"Yes. Because it's justified by the fact that it's the _truth._"

"Be that as it may, both of you did a swell job of botching this up. That's the price of letting kids run around with all that power. It's in your best interest to take what you have left and leave now, before you screw the rest of this up worse."

"Are you…seriously telling me to back out of this now?" Kanda leaned forward with a grimace snaking across his face. "That's not going to happen."

Cross leaned against the wall, his single eye peering down at the boy—analyzing him. The smoke wafted off him like a descending cloud, making him appear bigger and more threatening. Though, if he was attempting to shoo Kanda away, it would take more than an intimidating look. "You've already awakened Neah and a bit too early at that. If you're trying to save my apprentice, you're too late now boy."

"Hah. I take it Neah didn't tell you about the deal he made with _me_, then."

"Deal?"

He moved forward, off the couch and put himself in between Allen and Cross, casually sitting next to the boy on the bed. It was nothing short of an over protective action, but he didn't care. He didn't trust Cross. He didn't trust Neah. He didn't trust anyone. His only mission left in his life was now to protect Allen. "Yes, the deal I made with the 14th. As long as I agreed to assist him, he would leave beansprout alone."

"And you agreed without a real reason?"

"What reason else would I have other than him? I don't care about the rest of this overdrawn plot." His hand brushed over Allen's arm, fingers kneading into the pallid skin. If he could feel Allen's feverish form beneath his fingertips, then he would know he was still there. The boy's breathing wracked his body. Dark eyes glanced back, taking note of the shift. He hadn't been breathing that hard before. "Moya—"

Silver eyes opened, flickered with gold—staring directly at him and boring into him right down to the core. He couldn't break the lock those eyes had on him and he didn't know if he wanted to. There was too much swirling behind the flickering gold he hated and the silver that he was beginning to yearn for. The longer the gaze remained, the farther Allen seemed to get from him and a dizziness washed over him and the room—or rather, his vision—went black. Blinking, he tried to make sense of the strange bodiless feeling he was experiencing.

A ghostlike feeling of hands grazing over his face sent him to a darker place. Darker than the murky blackness of any state of unconsciousness…Uncomfortably comparable to how _death_ felt on the numerous occasions he was acquainted with it. He could sense shimmers, which wasn't something he was acquainted with. That was how he knew he wasn't dead, at least. The feel of lips on his own, nearly made him jump out of his skin.

"_Together, darling, we can purify this." _

"_We're just using each other…" _His own voice echoed from him, without his consent and he realized he wasn't experiencing his own action.

"_Ran, our goals are the same. Why shouldn't we use that?" _

"_Because your goals are not my goals." _

"_You're right…" _A smile crept along the mouth ghostly pressed into his. _"You want to __**destroy**__ everything, don't you…?" _

"**Hey, wake up.**"

His body was snapped from the dark reality of the memory that had been locked away. A strong hand clasped over his shoulder, pulling him out of direct contact with Allen. His lungs begged for air and he finally conceded to breathe it in and shake the haunting feeling that was rocking him to the core.

"This is your chance, to back out of this," Cross's voice cascaded over him like a waterfall of silk. Every word a tantalizing promise of living his last days absent of the deep turmoil he'd just had washed over him.

The panting died down after several moments and Kanda finally felt like air was his friend again. His eyes cast up to Cross's single eye. "He said I'm the Heart's Accommodator." The older man's expression changed, just the way he'd expected it would. "He didn't tell you did he? He just told you that I was special. That I was Ran-Yu. Some exorcist from the past that everyone forgot about. Even the man who led the project, couldn't seem to remember my name. But you managed to find information about me."

"Indeed…"

"Well now, remember…once upon a time, you said you had answers to my questions. I think it's time you and I talk a little more. You were so kind to show yourself. I thought I was going crazy, feeling auras and nearly attacking empty air, but it was you. Wasn't it?"

"I'd say you were observant, if you hadn't noticed it after it became obvious," the man grinned coarsely, depositing his cigarette butt to Timcanpy—who seemed to have no problem eating the object. "Neah could be manipulating you. No, he is. You're just a kid and especially stupid. Making you easy. Nothing changes. Stupid kids will be stupid and die in the end."

"Tell me Cross Marian," Kanda's voice filtered through the air like silk and this caused Cross's eye to travel back to the Asian man's face. Taking in the strange air about him. Something was off. He didn't doubt Neah on the past of this boy—he was the one who discovered it, after all—but Neah was hopelessly lost with that one…His judgment wasn't to be trusted. "Are you reflecting from the past now?"

However, the way the gold sparkled off Kanda's eyes was unnerving. This was not what Cross appeared for, but he should have known better than to think he could separate an exorcist of Ran-Yu's caliber from a very attached Noah. He _had_ to get in contact with Neah again…

…Kanda was in his way.

But…

If what the boy before him said was the actual truth, then the information he had to deliver to Neah, was more than relevant…and it was more than contradictory.

It was a game changer.

"Let's talk, then. Kanda."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: OTL, I felt like this chapter was all over the place as I wrote it, but then I read it an it seemed fine. The problem with sequels, is trying to start them up with out them being ALL PLOT INSTANTLY, which is why I kinda leaked very little into this chapter. Because major stuff can't happen immediately. Me and sequels are like UNG. _

_Let me know what you think, this chapter is awkward because of the writing to reading feel I had with it. _


	3. Secrets

**Cacophony**_  
>Part Two<em>

The two of them sat for a moment in uncomfortable silence. Neither man was extraordinary in the art of communication, nor was this a conversation that either seemed to be thrilled to start. Cross watched the boy—next to Allen—with a calculating gaze. He had to tread very carefully this time. Any potential incidences between this man and the 14th had to be avoided at all cost. The past had an ugly habit of repeating itself and this time, it simply could not. There was too much at stake this time around and if it could be avoided with omission of information, he would say as little as possible. So he lit another cigarette and sat back into the sofa. He took a deep drag and exhaled a stream of thick smoke as he started, "I supposed I have a story to tell you."

"Story time, Cross? Seems out of your character," Kanda sneered as his agitation level continued to rise.

"Just shut up and listen…Kids these days…If you'd like to know how I found information about you and your past, you will not make this any more difficult than necessary."

"I'm listening."

"I found information about Ran-Yu, because I already had the information. I knew him personally."

"…What…you what?" Dark eyes watched him carefully, gauging his expression and tone as he spoke. The casual air about the redhead suggested that he wasn't feeding him lies. Kanda wasn't always a master at calling people's bullshit, but he figured this was serious enough to warrant some truth—or he hoped anyway. Yet still, something seemed painfully wrong. "No one else seems to remember anything about the exorcist I was before."

"Not many people who knew you were allowed to keep those memories, I imagine. The Black Order purposefully eliminated all traces of documentation on you once you'd be ousted."

"Ousted?"

"The Black Order essentially sent you on a mission that you had no chance or returning from," Cross exhaled slowly. His mind was preoccupied with finding ways to word this in order to say enough to please the man, but not enough to say really much at all. "They already knew you were conspiring with the 14th. I wasn't supposed to have come in much contact with you, but I had done so anyway. I wasn't an exorcist at the time, I was a scientist."

"Okay…so how long did you know him? Or how did you meet him?"

"You, technically. You were already fully capable of using your Innocence and still to this day, you're the only one who'd ever arrived at the Black Order without having to be trained with your Innocence at all. After they had you examined and analyzed, they forwarded your information to me for a complete processing and documentation. When I looked over your information, I noted that your data was completely different from any exorcists I'd worked with before. Somehow, you weren't synchronized with your Innocence at all, yet you managed to slip by Hevlaska without her noticing your detachment to the Innocence. This meant that you were using an Innocence that you weren't an Accommodator for. This intrigued me and I decided to pursue you in order to find out how you were doing it."

"But why?"

"Because you were physically incompatible with the Innocence. You should not have been able to control it, especially since what you had was a parasitic type Innocence. I wanted to know if you were doing it consciously and if it meant it could be done by others. It never occurred to me that you could be using it as a side effect of being the Heart's Accommodator. It does make sense, but you didn't show anything else to suggest that you were special."

"So, what I'm getting at is…You stalked him because you wanted to use more Innocence?"

"No. I wanted to use an Innocence at all. Back then, I had not accommodated to any Innocence. If I could figure out a way to use one without needing to be chosen, I would have done much more, more quickly."

Kanda folded his arms and attempted to process the information. It was all matching up, for the most part. Something remained cloudy and unexplained, however. At the time of all of this, Kanda still found it strange that no one could recall one man. Not even those who would have seen him in passing—and thus not need to have their memories wiped. He had the same face as the man he was before, so how would someone not recognize him at all…in all the time….and the places that he had been in? On top of that, the neutral party remained missing for that period of time, yet they seemed unsurprised by the appearance of the 14th Noah…

"What about the bookmen, Cross? They're neutral. Why don't they recall any of this?"

"Hmm," Cross faltered very briefly. Answering that question would be…complicated at the very least. He needed some sort of answer to please the dark haired exorcist. "The bookman at the time was _removed_ from active duty."

"What kind of bullshit answer is that! What about Bookman now. I know he was alive and already officially a bookman by that point in time. He should have some idea about what happened. How does an exorcist just…disappear one day, without any trace at all? Everything is monitored to a disgusting degree by the Vatican. Trust me. I know. I was born in a laboratory."

"It's the only answer I have for you at this time."

"At this time…So you do know more! God damnit. It's because of this secrecy shit that nothing is getting accomplished. Neah said that I cannot use my gift as the supposed Heart's Accommodator, because I haven't been able to activate my body and soul with the Innocence. So I may as well be a normal accommodator entirely."

"Assuming you are actually the Heart's Accommodator."

"_Something _is there, Cross. I assimilated my current Innocence into my blood; a feat that took Beansprout and Lenalee near death—and an introspective reflection with the Innocence to determine their purposes as accommodators—to accomplish. I walked in and put my hand on Mugen and _made_ it convert."

Without a second's hesitation after the boy finished those words, Cross's attention had been snapped fully to Kanda, "repeat that last part you just said."

"Wh…I made it convert."

"Explain that," suddenly Cross's interest peaked and he leaned a bit closer, as if the next words to come out of that mouth could be the difference of life and death.

"I don't know how to explain it…Mugen was covered in rust, I touched it and I felt like I was breaking the sword until it liquefied. Just like with Lenalee's Innocence."

"You didn't bargain or resolve anything within yourself or toward the Innocence in the process?"

"No. I did not," Kanda grunted, becoming annoyed with the questions and sudden lack of information telling on Cross's part. He wanted more out of him; but instead, he was the one giving information. The red haired bastard was holding out on him and he knew it. He knew he was barely getting much more than what Neah himself had told him that day he bargained over the fate of Allen's existence. "I control Mugen, not the other way around."

"Hmm, very interesting."

"Yes, very. Now, you said you were going to tell me more of what I need to know."

"You children are always so impatient," Cross eyed him with a hint of amusement, intentionally antagonizing. There was only so much he could tell before he consulted with the 14th. Kanda would have to deal with the answers he could give in the mean time, because telling too much too soon could be far more dangerous than helpful—and Cross couldn't deny a few details that he'd even left out from the 14th. The ice was too thin to leave everything standing on it. "The truth is, Ran-Yu was an informant of the Noah. A double agent, if you will."

Dark eyes widened and his mind flashed to the voice he'd heard welcoming him "home". Could he really have been… "Was that the reason they sought to have him eliminated?"

"The reason behind that is something you'll have to ask him," the red haired man spoke casually, pointing the end of his cigarette to the body in the bed.

Kanda's gaze trailed over that form and he noted, once again, that the boy's eyes were open. This time, however, there was no out of body flashes like before. He was truly awake this time. Though the golden color of his irises told Kanda exactly _who _was awake. A silence fell between them in this moment of complete recognition and a spark of fury grew through Kanda when he noted the faint smile gracing Allen's lips. The nature of that smile never belonged on that face. That Noah never belonged in that body.

"Good morning."

"I'm sick of hearing you say that," a sneer, laced with displeasure, trickled between the two people on the bed. His fingers curled into his palms until he could feel his nails nearly breaking skin.

"I'm sorry, Ran, I merely mean it as a pleasant gesture. I always enjoyed seeing your face upon waking." Gold eyes flicked from Kanda to Cross briefly. "That's enough telling, Marian. I will take it from here."

"It would have been useful to know that you thought he was the Accommodator from the beginning. If I had any idea, I could have tried to step in before the mess at the American Branch. You're not making this any easier, Neah."

"That was inevitable. In fact, my awakening isn't an inconvenience—though maybe a bit soon and more widely announced than would have been beneficial; but I also have more advantages over the Earl now. I have my memories. It's now clear to me that most of my _brothers and sisters_ have yet to regain their full memories. I also have control over any Akuma that will try to act on behalf of the others. Given that, we need to locate the Heart as soon as possible," the Noah spoke smoothly, sitting up in the bed and allowing the blankets to pool in front of him. He slipped closer to Kanda with every movement, almost appearing predatory.

"I'm doing nothing to assist you until you show me that Moyashi is still in there," Kanda interrupted his advance with the crisp coldness of his voice. There was nothing left in the world for Kanda to truly want to live for and without proof of Allen still existing, he had no desire to continue to be led along on some elaborate ruse thought up by a rogue Noah and his Black Order—supposed to be dead—ex scientist/exorcist accomplice.

"Do you think it's very wise to put his life on the line, in order to threaten me?" The Noah leaned close enough to brush his face against the side of Kanda's. An action that nearly sent the exorcist into a fury.

His heart pounded uncomfortably in his chest at the way his skin tingled with every graze and how his body seemed to yearn to respond to it. He hated this man. He hated the mother fucker that was taking over his beansprout's body. All he wanted to do was strangle him until he died and then left him Allen. But he couldn't just do that and it made him itch. It made him antsy and with every second, he felt his blood surging through him, making him hot—like uncomfortable flashes that nearly gave him a headache.

"Get off me," he finally breathed, trying to slide out of his grasp. "If you kill Beansprout, my reason for living disappears entirely. I'm sure you realize my death wouldn't benefit you in the least, so don't threaten me."

Fingers slid along Kanda's neck, against the man's will, and the one controlling them watched with amusement. He wasn't going to press Allen's young lover to a point that would cause himself any inconvenience; but he also wasn't going to simply cave to the whims of the one who he himself had once claimed. Before the untimely demise of both of them, the dangerous exorcist was _his_. Whether he wanted it or not. "Either way, no one will win, darling. So just kindly cooperate and I will as well. And try to ask fewer questions. I would hate to put Marian in any more of a spot than he is already." The Noah's lips moved back against his ear, grazing skin with teeth provocatively. Those gold eyes cast over to Cross, before refocusing on the man he was making incredibly discomfited.

Kanda's eyes were steeled, trying to retain the anger and ability to throw the motherfucker across the room if need be. His body was doing that terrible thing where he felt like he was in two places at once—that thing that got worse and worse since his fight with Alma and since he'd taken his Innocence into his body. Anything could send him back into memories that he never experienced in his current body. Anything could make him feel things from a life that he didn't feel was his. He just didn't care about that.

The past wasn't his place. All he wanted was the present and the future that he could build from it. He would go through the motions required to keep Allen in his sights until he could find out how to throw Neah out and whisk the moyashi away. Then, fuck the rest of the world. They could find a tiny hole in the Earth to live in until they both died—which he knew wasn't going to be long for either of them, taking his own body's state into mind and Allen's Innocence eating his away.

It was a sorry way for them to live. They were a tragic little story that Kanda wasn't ready to succumb to an ending yet. If being the Heart's Accommodator could actually fix their problems then he supposed he was going to put his battle boots on and wait for the hell storm to rain down on them.

"I told you, get off me. My discussion with Cross isn't over and since you're awake, I have information I want out of you as well. I will not be left in the dark if you plan to abuse me for your bullshit. I am not your toy. I am not Ran-Yu. I'm Kanda. I belong to Allen Walker, not you. So anything that you have to say that doesn't directly answer my issues or relate to Beansprout, will be brushed off."

"You want answers? Details? You'd like to know about you? Or rather, your past?" The Noah's voice was filled with an irritating mirth. There was so much amusement in that bastard that Kanda's desired to put his foot up his ass reined number one in his thoughts again. Even the man's need to lick and nip at his face—molesting his mouth—didn't make him as agitated as the tone of his voice.

"Yes, I want fuckin answers. You have only been stringing me through shit since you showed up and tried to toy with me. I agreed to your terms, but you've yet to see your end through, since I have no idea what you're doing to Moyashi in there. If you want my assistance. I want in on this plot. I want in now and **motherfucker**," he growled, turning quicker than his own body was prepared for, shocking himself in the way his fingers suddenly gripped the Noah's jaw—or rather, Allen's, "**you better let me in**."

With a force that Kanda wasn't expecting, the Noah's hand gripped over his wrist and they wrangled for a moment, until Neah managed to throw him down into the bed. The surprise was the reason he had ended up under the dark skinned intruder of Moyashi's body. The sudden motion had sent those antagonizing feelings through his body and mind. The swell of emotions and trickling hot flashes ran through his body with every second that Neah put into moving over his body.

Neah's eyes glittered from above him. Their faces were so close he could bite him if he wanted and Neah had no intention of backing off—straddling Kanda and leaning over, placing both hands on each side of his face. "If you want to know…if you want information. I will give you exactly what you need right now. I will give you the first hand experience from the eyes of the very one who nearly broke everything, darling." Teeth glistened and the mouth they belonged in moved over the thin lips of the Japanese man, taunting him with every breath.

Kanda's resistance only started long enough to be completely shattered when all the sensations tore into his brain. When that mouth completely moved over his and dominated his own, he simply could not restrain his actions. Despite every fiber of his being arguing, his body fiercely returned with a stomach churning familiarity and passion that his mind was screaming to go away.

That strange out of body sensation returned to him and he knew he wasn't even able to control his own actions. He wanted to kill the motherfucker. He wanted to suffocate him until he was permanently destroyed. He wanted to crawl out from under him. He wanted to peel off his own skin for his body's reaction. He wanted anything but what this Noah was making him feel. His personal bubble was being shredded down to nothing and overridden by one who didn't even see him as he was—but rather, a person from a past that was gone.

_If you want the past, I shall give you the past Kaneda. The memories are right here. You're familiar with how this works aren't you? _

Wha…

_The only way to tell you is to show you. Let's put your Innocence to good use. _

His body suddenly felt like it was on fire and he repressed the scream that wanted to tear out of his throat. It felt like every drop of blood in him was vibrating and everything simply went black. The darkness loomed in his vision until he felt it all the way into his bones. The fire dwindled and died until he was cold and completely disassociated from feeling like he was alive at all.

He blinked, staring a world that he wasn't in before. The gray world bled into colors and he found his vision moving on its own—his body not responding to anything.

"_Welcome home!" _

"_You're Ran-Yu? I expected someone bigger." _

"_Be nice to him, Mana. He's helping us after all."_

"_You really don't need to be so happy about this Rhode." _

"_You worry so much. I'm sure your brother knows what he's doing. He'd have killed him instantly if there wasn't a reason." _

The young woman came into Kanda's vision, along with a black haired man who looked strangely like Tyki…and strangely like Neah. Both of them were watching him…or rather the body he was viewing this from. They were staring at Ran-Yu.

"_Why should we trust an exorcist?" _

"_Because," _he found the words spilling from his own mouth, unrestrained and made with an intent he wasn't allowed to curb,_ "I want to watch the Black Order burn. I want to watch it burn to the fuckin ground. I want to watch that which claims it works in the name of god to crumble and die. I'm sure you can relate.." _

The words…should have made him sick to his stomach. The words should have made him feel like a monster or a traitor. The words should have brought him to loathe what he was. But a part of him…no most of him…absolutely, horrifically, and honestly…

Felt the very same.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><em>AN: I know it's been a while, but I've been trying to figure out the best way to move this particular part forward, and I needed to take a moment to recollect my data and consult with my muses for the direction I take this. I know the last chapter was a bit of a drag, but I needed it to give the opening for the information dump here and this is the opening to the next part, where I will now give you the backstory you know you want. _

_Also, before the questions are asked, 1. Yes. I have something MASSIVE planned for Lavi and Lenalee. 2. I may have AU elements in here, and if I accidentally overlook one of my own details, please say something! 3. Some details will make no sense for a moment in some places, but you will understand why later on. 4. Yes. I promise that this will have a satisfactory ending. I will not say how, but I don't want you to feel like you invested time in a shitty ending. _

_All thoughts, complaints and questions are welcome!_


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